Breaking Up

*Where Is the Love?

Look up the following passages on love. Read them and then ask how they relate to dating and breaking up.

1. Matthew 22:36-39
2. Matthew 5:43-47
3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13
4. 1 John 4:7-8

Answers: 1. Love your neighbor; 2. Love your enemies; 3. Love is the greatest; 4. Love comes from God

How can you respond in a loving way in a breakup instead of with hatred.

Challenge

Breaking Up

Can you think of a couple who has broken up recently. how many of you have had the experience yourselves? It’s no fun when it happens to you.

• What are some reasons for the breakups you have observed or experienced?
• How do couples break up? What lines are used?
• Can people who used to be serious be "just friends" after a breakup? Why or why not? How?

Read Matthew 7:12. Exercise the "Golden Rule" in your dating relationships, especially when you break up.

Respect

Read John 13:35. Read 1 Corinthians 13 and other passages about love. How are these passages relate to dating. Each person is responsible, before God, for his or her actions; that is, as Christians we must obey God, and Christian love is an action, not a feeling. Respect for each other is not optional, it is a requirement, and that it is active, not passive. Write the words or phrases from the Bible that apply directly to you in their relationships with members of the opposite sex. You may have to go to certain people and ask for forgiveness; certainly your actions must change.

The Pain

1. Often we set ourselves up for painful breakups because we...
   • rush into relationships.
   • expect too much—are unrealistic or make too many demands.
   • commit ourselves too soon.
   • don’t allow the relationship to grow.
   • get involved in an unbalanced relationship—emotional release, heavy sex, etc.
2. Instead, we should...
   • proceed slowly.
   • become friends first—get to know the other person.
   • date a variety of people in a variety of situations.
   • be honest about our feelings and take it a day at a time.
   • resist using the other person to meet our needs or playing on their emotions.
3. And, most important of all, we should let Christ control this area of our lives by...
   • committing each boyfriend or girlfriend and situation to him.
   • acting in love toward our dates.
   • responding in love after any breakup.